Life is About Transitions

I have spent most of my professional, not to mention personal, life helping people transition from one state to another. It's something I enjoy doing and never seem to tire of.

Now I am going through a transition myself having moved to a new city full of strangers, and I have to remind myself that this is the normal state of life. We humans have a desire to deny that, to imagine change is unnatural. We are homeostatic creatures and need things to stand still--or at least appear to be that way.

However, change is really the fabric of living. Coming together, drifting apart, acceptance, denial, attempts, failures, successes, graduation, birth and marriage and death--it's all the fabric of life.

So if you are struggling today with a change you are facing, take comfort as you are not alone. I'm doing it and so can you. Good luck!

This is the End...

As most of you know, in a few hours a group of religious extremists believe the world will be coming to an end.

I'm typing this as I teach a history of technology class at the City University of New York (don't worry, my students are working on essays about technology and terrorism). Perhaps my study of technology is peppering my emotions on this muggy day but I'm not that scared. I think that if they are right and I wrong, it will happen regardless of my worrying about it. I'm resigned to the possibility, a strong one, that sometime in my lifetime the "world," at least with humans in it, will "end." Perhaps with a bang and perhaps with a whimper.

The bang part is something all of us live with--nuclear weapons. I have never had a moment of consciousness that has not been underlined by the thought that a nuke could blow me, and everyone I love, away. The world is filled with nukes, state-sponsored and a few otherwise, and the likelihood that one of them goes off deliberately or accidentally is high.

The whimper part is also of our own making. We live in a world where, regardless of if naysayers like it, the climate is changing. It's warmer in places and colder in places, but its changing. There is a high degree of moisture in the air and meteorologists are losing sleep posting and revising weather charts that don't seem to be getting it right. What will that mean for us in the long haul? Rising tides, crops that are frozen or blown away by no rain. The careful balance that keeps us alive--water, temperature, the earth beneath our feet--is slowly degrading and we will pay the price.

So regardless of it's at 6 pm local, or 2030, or later on, it most likely will happen. And unless we do something about it I'm not sure how this will end. I don't think it will be today. But unless we do something about the bang and/or the whimper, I think it will be sooner as opposed to later.

The photo is courtesy of New York artist Farrish Carter. You can see his blog here.

A Variety of Valentine's Day Cards

Here are a variety of Valentine's cards--antique cards, new cards, all sorts--with no comment. Let's let the speak for themselves--and happy Valentine's Day!

Democracy is a Lake, Even in Arid Egypt

Experience + Time + Personality = Government

I'm borrowing the wise words of sociologist Charles Tilly to illustrate the concept that democracy is a reflection of its citizens. All governments look like the people that founded it and the experience of getting what they want Governments are created by humans and like humans, are shaped by the good as well as the traumatic incidents they have experienced during their lives. 

So what will democracy in Egypt look like? Who knows, if it will ever comes at all. The oppressed masses may not have the ability to create a representative government.  Only time will tell. 

A few things I do know--

The new Egypt won't occur overnight, even if Mubarak resigns today. Any student of revolution, regardless of the country or period, knows citizens do not flip a switch to create a government, democratic or otherwise. 

Second, the path getting there will most likely be treacherous. Factions will rise, fall and come together with alarming speed. In doing so far right and even some left voices will compete to be heard. The group that convinces the masses that it will put food on their tables and bring security to their homes will succeed. 

In short, buckle your seat belts and let's all hope for the best. 

Resolutions and Goals

one step + another step = a journey

Creating change in your life is a multi-step process and a few days ago I referenced the first part, defining what your goal is in terms that can be defined and monitored. 

In relation to that is the second part, selecting goals that are reasonable and can be achieved. Many times people, in the excitement of visualizing their new selves, pick goals far too ambitious or even impossible to achieve. When those goals don't materialize they get disappointed and the goal, along with any positive change, dies. 

In writing this I am thinking about physical fitness (but these concepts apply to any change). I see my gym, which has a hard core contingent of a few hundred regulars, on the verge of overflowing with novices attempting to be Adonises by Valentine's Day. In my world they have a scientific name, jockus temporous. 

They hit their workouts hard, showing up right after work and going full tilt for as long as they can hold up. Ellipticals, free weights, yoga, classes--they jump into all of it without the proper physical preparation (stretching), nutrition (they skipped breakfast to cut calories) or mental preparation to understand what they are working on and how to get it. 

After a day or two, maybe a week or two at best, they start finding reasons to skip. They are tired and sore and sore of heart too and just want a day or two to chill and watching the tube. Soon workouts happen once and while and by the time the spring frost has broken the population of the gym is back to normal.

How can this be avoided? Being realistic about the change you want to achieve. Want to lose sixty pounds? Awesome! But don't expect to do so in a few months. That is a long term plan and requires small goals of a pound or two a week for real change to take place. This means real committed work and planning--prioritizing the gym over happy hour, couch time and the new season of Jersey Shore. 

Set a goal of seven pounds a month and go a few months to see if the plan is realistic. If it is, awesome, keep up the good work! :) And if it not, don't stop and reach for the Fritos. Figure out what else needs to be adjusted--workout time, workout intensity, diet, alcohol intake--and see what makes sustainable change happen for you. 

Okay, we've got a goal that is (1) measurable and (2) reasonable. What's next?

Picking a goal you really want.

How to Create Effective New Years Resolutions

Definable Goals = Success

I'm a big believer in resolutions and think New Years Day is a wonderful date to begin. If you are interested in creating a change in your life I'm going to share a few pointers to help make the transition as easy as it can be.

The first step is to create a resolution that can be easily measured. Instead of making some sort of global statement such as, "I want to be happy," create a goal that can be monitored and measured to see the change take place.

In preparation for this entry I did a little reading and found a list of the ten most common resolutions. Some were great--clearly defined and discrete--and others, well, not so much.

One great example is number four on the list, "I want to quit smoking. That is a very clear and really easy goal to measure. Simply quit smoking. If you go three days and then put one in your mouth, you have had three days of success. The next day give it another go and see how many days you can continue without smoking. This is a goal that is nice, simple and to the point.

What's an example of a bad goal? How about number five, "enjoy life more?" What does that mean? How can you measure "enjoying life?"

The spirit of the goal is wonderful--who wouldn't like to enjoy life more? But if you want that to be a goal, that is not the way to get there. You need to list specific activities that you enjoy and then determine how frequently--daily, weekly or monthly--you want that to occur.

For example, if you like going to art galleries, pick one day a week and go to a gallery. This still relates to enjoying life but now it has a real goal connected to it. Did you go to an art gallery last week? If so, you met your goal and should be one step closer to having a happier life. If not, find out what is keeping you from getting there and give it another shot. Congrats!

In a day or two we'll talk about the next step in the process--creating realistic goals.

Happy New Years!

P.S. To see the complete list of top ten goals click here

Foursquare Bookworm Badge Encourages Not Being Literate :(

reenforcement = results

My last posting about my love for Foursquare was a big hit--it seems a great many people also enjoy what the site has the potential to do. 

And I do see great potential. They encourage exercise and proper eating with all sorts of fitness badges. And they do, on occasion, promote events that get people out of doors and away from the 4G feed like going to museums or holiday events. 

So I was very excited seeing the new "Bookworm" badge on the site. All one needs to earn it is checking in at any three bookstores or libraries. Just to show what a literary type I am, I got mine after just one check in to the library--I guess I have a lot of book credit built up in the 4Sq ledgers. 

However, once I got the badge I was disappointed. Disappointed at the phrase that comes up once someone is rewarded the badge, "You Nerd." What is this folks? High school? Scratch that. Junior high? 

I know 4Sq is about having a sense of humor and many times I laugh even when their jokes push the envelope (check out the "Douchebag" badge to see what I mean). But isn't making fun of people who love books and reading past its prime as a gag? Isn't the anti-intellectualism that is so common in our country one of the problems we face as a nation? As a world? 

And it's not like 4Sq doesn't cheer on its users when they are doing "cool" activities. For example, when a member checks in after 3 AM at a club they are given a badge and told "Checking in after 3am on a school night? Well done!" Or when they check in to a site with three members of the opposite sex, they get tons of reinforcement:"Look at you, checking in with 3 members of the opposite sex! Player, please!" 

So why not marginalize reading? How great would it have been to see a remark like "Brains are the new sexy!" or "Ain't no stopping you now! What's the next book on your reading list?" 

Instead I get called a nerd for wanting to better understand the world. 

Stigmatize reading? Player please!