I am MILK Intolerant

I had a funny/disturbing occurance last night at the movies. While on line (I have lived in NY long enough, I now say "on line" as opposed to being "in" it) to see The Wrestler (4 out of 5 stars), I had a friend ask me if I had seen Milk.

I told her that Milk was okay (as reported earlier in this blog), and that unlike many people I thought it was a rather pedestrian affair. I have seen a great many bio pics, and I think that Milk pales when compared to Isadora, Coal Miner's Daughter, Young Abe Lincoln...even The Buddy Holly Story is a better film then Milk. I think people love it because of the fiasco of Prop. 8 and the fact (stated below) that Sean Penn, a straight guy, kisses men!

All of a sudden the woman ahead of us on-line announced that Milk IS a great film. She was quite declarative in her endorsement that I was wrong and she was right--it is great. I used my clinical superpowers to frame it up for her and make her realize the reasons it may have spoken to her. But I was shocked by her behavior and troubled by the unspoken text of our conversation.

Milk is a story about a queer character told in a positive light. And sadly, tales such as this don't get told very often by homophobic Hollywood. That said, that still does not make it a better or worse film. I refuse to fall in lock step with those who think Milk is the greatest film of the year, anymore than I did when critics and civilians alike hailed one of the most tedious films of '08, The Dark Knight, because it is Heath Ledger's last performance. Was Heath a great actor? Yes. Was he a friend to queers? Yes. Was Dark Knight good? HELL NO. It sucked.

Movies are movies. They speak to us or they do not. But feeling the need to like something, anything, because of the statement it makes is a weak choice. One of the challenges in life is picking one's own intellectual agenda. It is not always easy, but it is genuinely you. And being you--your true self--and not some political clone, is the way to better mental health.

Harvey Milk died for that belief--how ironic.

Did Sarah Palin's Kids Ever Take a Virginity Pledge?

I just skimmed the papers on-line and found out that congratulations are in order! Congrats to Grandma Sarah Palin on bringing another lil' right winger-to-be into the world. She seems to think it is fine that her out of wedlock daughter gives birth to a child whose father, while pretty darn cute, is not exactly ideal husband material (seeing as he has not married his baby's mama and has recently dropped out of high school to insure a minimum wage life for he and his child).

This blessed occurrence happened on the same day that that liberal rag, The New York Times, reported something that has been proven before--virginity pledges absolutely do not work.

People don't like that fact; many are in love with the idea that oaths and Bibles and promises and curfews can keep a hymen in tact. But it does not. The human sex drive is a basic one and far more powerful than the Good Book (or any book for that matter). When it comes down to a duel between the scriptures and hormones, one will beat the other time after time.

We have to teach children about sex. It is hard, I know it is. But anything worth having is hard to get. And a parent who does not do so is in most cases selfish, fearful of their own discomfort so they keep quiet until it is too late for all involved.

Good luck to the parents and most of all the little baby with the big name, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston.

What Harvey Milk Taught Me

I recently saw the film Milk and thought, wow, this is an overrated film. I am a tad tired of the whole "he should get an Oscar because he is straight and kissing a guy" school of acting. It was fine for what it was (3 out of 5 stars) but nothing beyond the realm of the stock biopic.

That said, I did leave the film with imagery in my noggin, a "take away" worth keeping. The moment is early, when Milk the New Yorker passes a cutie in the subway and asks him out---and in doing so changes both their lives forever. Upon seeing that scene I thought, "I need that, I have to get ballsier or I am gonna be single the rest of my life."

But translating thoughts into action is a challenge. I dropped the ball this PM, when a cute-not gorgeous, not really my type--but cute, guy was alone at the screening of Doubt that I was at. He kept checking his cell prior to the film and I thought he was a little too much--23/24-ish with a fedora and a trench coat--but I kept watching him. At the film's end (4 out of 5 stars) I turned around and he was gone.

Twelve blocks and 20 minutes later I saw him at the subway stop, still checking that cell for the offer/bid/proposal that would never come.

I thought of Milk-- be would have gone up and asked the young buck to dinner. No strings, just dinner as a meal is almost always better together than alone. But I did nothing. I watched him walk into the subway and thought "idiot , go after him" and I did, but he was really gone this time.

So now I am having a fabo dinner -- good wine and stuffed mushrooms and a great Caesar salad--alone. What would have happened if I had asked? Don't know...but I wonder...

Eartha Kitt RIP

I just got an e-mail from a friend that I did not want to see...Eartha Kitt has passed.

I am not, for the most part, a participant in our celebrity culture. That said, I loved Eartha Kitt, as much as one can love someone they have only seen from afar. She was the personification of energy and life. What a loss for us all.

I am proud to say I saw her at the famous Blue Note a few years ago and it was well worth the price. She brought so much joy into the room that night. I loved it and have often told stories about her performance--especially when she called a sweet looking waiter over and asked, "how old are you?"

He replied, "21."

She murmurred, "is anyone 21 anymore?" It was a set up, but I loved it.

One thing more I remember that night. How gracious she was afterwards, signing autographs and talking...my friend and I saw her outside the club long after it had closed and gone dark, still signing and smiling a laughing.

She was a one of a kind. Rest in peace dear Eartha.

Times passes. Make the most of yours.

Testing, testing....

Like so many of you, I have stuck my toe in the blogging waters and found them to be too cold, or too hot, to dive in।

Well, I am finally ready to get wet। My commitment to myself, and to you, is have a space to talk about how I apply what I know about psychology to my life, and my clients lives, each day। Ready to go? I know I am...