Taking Control of Your Mody

My spell check does not like the word “mody.” I suppose the main reason is that outside of my mind, the word has technically not existed.

Mody (mod-ee) noun, plural mod⋅ies, verb, mod⋅ied,Mod⋅y⋅ing, adjective. The physical structure, material substance, as well as the emotional and mental states of an animal, primarily human, but applying to other sentient beings as well.

When I first started working with clients who wanted to achieve their goals, I was asked if I “believed” in the mind-body link. At that time I was not sure. Now, five years later I have come to realize the concept of a mody is not something to believe in but it is a fact. The mind and body constantly reflect and reinforce each other; one is intimately, and immediately reinforced by the other. In an effort to teach people that this is a fact, I coined the term mody.

How does it work? Think about a time when you were not feeling well. Perhaps your stomach was upset or your allergies were annoying you. Your body felt bad and you felt “yucky” as well. You probably don’t want to be as social, or as productive when your body is not medically optimal. Chances are that if the illness was profound or extended, your mood shifted to a lower state—right?

Or recall a time when you were very sad from an event you had recently experienced. In turn your thoughts made you feel lethargic, not unlike a time when your body was medically at risk. Perhaps as a result your sleeping or eating changed (too much or not enough of either or both). That made you more susceptible to making yourself physically sick as well.

Body feeds mind and mind feeds body.

Let's examine this effect in a variety of way. What are the side effects of a body that is not in tip top shape? Also, what are the implications of a mind that is not functioning at its best?

Have a great day…and take care of your mody.

Men Happier Than Women? No Ship Sherlock

After watching this weekend's television I have decided that the world is a fairly safe place, at least for the moment. The reason being that CNN apparently has little to report, outside of a study saying the men are happier than women.

What makes this a surprise?

Women have less power in our society than men. Any time a group has less power they are less likely to be happy. Regardless of if the group is denied their rights by sex, gender, sexuality, economics or skin tone, the dominant segment is going to display a decided tendency to be more satisfied with their lives.

Yes, I recognize women have made strides in the social arena since the dark days pre-Betty Friedan. However, there is hardly equity between women and their far happier male counterparts. Anyone who doubts that fact needs to check out the makeup of the senate. Women are half the population--how many female senators are there? Or how about C.E.O.s--how many of them have duplicate chromosomes? Men still run the world...and smiles will fall on those in charge.

Also, consider the fact that women are far more in touch with their feelings than their male counterparts--which actually is another side effect of being second class. Those on the outside tend to show a much stronger ability to read the room and understand how the dominant group behaves and feels. Women think about feelings and attitudes as a function of survival. What would be the motivation for (most) men to be self-aware? When you run the show, you can stumble through life with little regard for others--making those in second place a lot less happy group. But if you have to respond to another group's demand, in this case those of men, the less powerful group is going to focus on what mood the men, as well as themselves, are in.

Smile and have a great Monday.

David Ezell is offering free introductory classes for people who want to transition their bodies or their ability to manage depression and anxiety holistically. Just click the link and register, as space is VERY LIMITED.

Why Not Create a 12-Step Program for Depression?

I am in the process of starting a new group for people suffering from depression and anxiety. And two of the new members both e-mailed the same question the same day. Basically they wanted to know if our group "is going to be a 12 step group?"

I had to think about it for a moment and then I typed this reply:

No, this is nothing like that format in that 12 steps are typically effective with addictions or dependencies (alcohol, sex, gambling). Depression is neither; it is a disease that effects a large swath of our people. The group will help members learn cognitive solutions to their depression (and anxiety) that are proven to be clinically effective.

The question exposes one of the key misconceptions of depression--it does not happen by choice. And since one cannot choose to be "depressed," it follows one cannot choose to be out of depression either--right? Depression is a serious disease that eats up lives, ruins careers and destroys relationships. And there are things someone suffering from it can do to slowly, ever so slowly, turn the tide in the opposite direction.

Want to join us for a discussion on depression and anxiety? Just click here for our first FREE monthly meeting.

Changing Your Mind About Change

Change is really hard. If someone tells you it is not, I suggest you compliment them on the color they are wearing and ask them how work is going. Don’t believe them. Change is really hard.

And happily, my job is to help people move from one state of being to another.--to move from who they are to who they want to be. And in the words of one of my mentors, that process is simple. Not easy, but simple. And accepting that real change--significant transitions--are hard to achieve is many times the first step in the journey.

By acknowledging change is hard, your feeling about the tasks at hand will begin to alter. No need to beat yourself up because you didn’t magically transform in a week, or six weeks, or a year. Recognize that change is made of many steps, pick a discrete step and see what happens. If you complete the task…congrats! Give yourself a reward. And if you don’t, analyze what kept you from following through, learn from the mistakes and do it again. The past is only valuable in that we can learn from our errors and improve our performance.

So what do you want to do? Is it reasonable? Is it measureable? If so, start today!

David Ezell is offering free introductory classes for people who want to transition their relationships, their bodies or their ability to manage depression and anxiety holistically. Just click the link and register, as space is VERY LIMITED.

Take a RISK!

The other day a phrase came to me from Virgil, the Roman historian:

"Fortes fortuna adiuvat"

Translated, that means fortune favors the bold.

That phrase stands the test of time--be bold, what in the hell have you got to lose sitting on the sidelines?

I know a woman who has never asked a man out on a date because that is "not what ladies do." She always sits by the phone, thinking that by doing so she is not behaving like "a lady." And that scenario is making her miserable. Out of obligation to tradition, she is making herself miserable.

Since this is a family blog I won't say the one word that is 8-letters long, starts with a "b" and ends with "t." I have challenged her to stop doing the same behavior she is complaining about. If she meets a man she would like to go out with, forget The Rules and pick up the phone.

What would happen if she asked a man out?

1. She won't like him;
2. She will like him:
3. He will like her:
4. He won't like her;
5. They will both like each other;
6. They will both not like each other;
7. He won't show up...
8. Or something I can't predict will occur.

Regardless of any of those outcomes (and I am sure there are a few more I can't think of), she wins! She took a risk instead of wondering what would happen if she had asked him out.

Life is far too short to be in love with ambiguity.

Fortes fortuna adiuvat

In honor of five years of helping others help themselves, David Ezell is offering free workshops on relationships, weight loss and depression. Click on the links to register as seating is very limited.

Working on My New Years Resolutions

First, an apology. I have not blogged in a while.

Two reasons:

Strike that, three reasons:

1. I have been working on my resolutions;
2. I went of a long vacation;
3. I am trying to figure out how to fit blogging into my life.

So my apologies to those of you who have asked where my blogging disappeared to.

But back to my resolutions. Resolutions? It's not even close to January 1st, why, oh why am I talking resolutions?

Because we need goals. We need to be working towards something. I have three resolutions that I have been grappling with all of 2009. And now that we are fast approaching fall, I want to make sure that I have no regrets. So toil I must and I am on the verge, with at least one, of success. My projection is that two of the three, if not all three, will be done by this New Years Eve.

Why aren't people comfortable with goals? From what I have seen I think they don't want to fail. Fear of failure equals no goals. If I don't have ambitions I can't be hurt, right? So they live their lives putting out small fires and big fires, sometimes happy and sometimes sad. And there is nothing wrong with that, if that is what they want.

But what if you are not satisfied with that sort of life? It's not too late folks. Revive those old resolutions you may have thought of nine months back or create one or two today. Make sure they are measureable; you have to be able to identify when you have succeeded in order to know you are done. Also, make sure they are scaleable. Can they be done before the last day of the final month of the year?

Why the 31st of December? Well you have to have new ones right? I already have my first goal picked for 2010, and it is a doozy :).

Have a great day and a wonderful week.

In honor of five years of helping others help themselves, David Ezell is offering free workshops on relationships, weight loss and depression. Click on the links to register as seating is very limited.