When it comes to matters of dating and love, how fast is too fast?
You had a great date with some guy or girl who feels exactly the same way. You feel such a connection--how could someone fit you the way he/she does? You feel the impulse to call them and tell them how happy you are, how delighted that it went so well. And then it dawns on you, hey, I'm gonna ask him/her out to lunch tomorrow. And then see if he/she wants to go to the game on Friday (I can tell my best friend we'll go another time). And then of course, Saturday will be our one-week anniversary, we can't miss that. Maybe a romantic dinner at that little spot on 4th Avenue. I usually save it for somebody I have been dating for a while, but it feels like we have been together forever...
Sound familar? Hopefully, if you are an adult of a certain age, you have felt this way about another person at least a few times in your life. It feels great and if it feels great, then you want more of it, right?
No, you don't.
Why? Because of another phenomenon you have heard of--too much too soon. If feels fantastic, you are so connected, and then just as quickly as it rose, it fell.
So what to do? How do you keep that fabulous ball bouncing? Slow down. Act counter to the impulse to call them and tell them how happy you are that you met on that subway or on-line. What if I had not logged on that night? We may never have met.... Take it easy partner. If it is great now, and you want it to be great later, don't call and write and nudge and wink and post and text. Leave a little space between the two of you and and see where things go. It has only been a week, or two weeks, or two months. It is hard to find someone to love. And it seems you are on the right path. But don't allow it to wither by not letting it have any light. Like the tender buds of May, a relationship needs light and air, along with a touch of TLC, to grow.
Happy Friday.
You had a great date with some guy or girl who feels exactly the same way. You feel such a connection--how could someone fit you the way he/she does? You feel the impulse to call them and tell them how happy you are, how delighted that it went so well. And then it dawns on you, hey, I'm gonna ask him/her out to lunch tomorrow. And then see if he/she wants to go to the game on Friday (I can tell my best friend we'll go another time). And then of course, Saturday will be our one-week anniversary, we can't miss that. Maybe a romantic dinner at that little spot on 4th Avenue. I usually save it for somebody I have been dating for a while, but it feels like we have been together forever...
Sound familar? Hopefully, if you are an adult of a certain age, you have felt this way about another person at least a few times in your life. It feels great and if it feels great, then you want more of it, right?
No, you don't.
Why? Because of another phenomenon you have heard of--too much too soon. If feels fantastic, you are so connected, and then just as quickly as it rose, it fell.
So what to do? How do you keep that fabulous ball bouncing? Slow down. Act counter to the impulse to call them and tell them how happy you are that you met on that subway or on-line. What if I had not logged on that night? We may never have met.... Take it easy partner. If it is great now, and you want it to be great later, don't call and write and nudge and wink and post and text. Leave a little space between the two of you and and see where things go. It has only been a week, or two weeks, or two months. It is hard to find someone to love. And it seems you are on the right path. But don't allow it to wither by not letting it have any light. Like the tender buds of May, a relationship needs light and air, along with a touch of TLC, to grow.
Happy Friday.
David...it's so great to read your blog. I have missed having your voice of reason in my life and it's great to have it back! Thanks. I agree with what you say. I am having those urges right now to contact someone but I've realized letting them take some responsibility in the following up and getting back in touch is a good way to screen if the person is available and thoughtful enough for me to date.
ReplyDeleteHey Eric! Thanks for the complimennts...good to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteThe desire to move too fast comes from a position of insecurity. Love is hard to find...so when you find a solid prospect, handle it gently and see where it goes.
David