Everyone is a Victim in Chardon, Ohio

untreated mental illness = a sick community

I just heard the news about the sentencing of this young man for killing three students in a lunch room at his high school. Sadly, in our violent culture, that did not catch my ear in the way it should as I'm desensitized in a way I wish I was not to gun violence.

What did was the incredible anger expressed in the sentencing by the convicted man--wearing a t-shirt with "KILLER" written on it, sticking his middle finger in the faces of those in the courtroom and other disturbing acts and statements I won't glorify here.

From my perspective he is just as much a victim as anyone else--this young man--barely a legal adult and certainly not one by any other standard is so mad. What happened to him? Why was in not caught earlier? How sad that the only thing we did with him was ignore him until he destroyed others, too late for all of them. 

this photo is property of the Associated Press

We have to get serious--very serious--about mental health in this country. What caused this man to take this lives? I don't know but I would have loved to have helped him when he was fifteen or sixteen. 

Depression and anxiety are spreading across the region because he was ignored. Witnesses, survivors, the family of those who died, his relatives, the entire community as well are all at risk to opportunistic mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety, if not more serious conditions. I was even effected by this and I am two-thousand miles away. 

Now I can't help him and neither can anyone else. 

Vicarious Trauma at Fort Hood?

(talk of trauma) + (talk of trauma) + (talk of trauma) = vicarious trauma

In the media's scramble to understand the "whys" behind the Fort Hood tragedy, a great deal of discussion is being paid to the fact that the apparent shooter was a Muslim. While I am unsure of how, if in any way, his faith played a role in what happened, my thoughts go in a different direction. I wonder about the vicarious trauma that he must have faced counseling at the largest military installation in the U. S.

While more people are aware of how trauma effects humans than ever before, most don't understand the communicable consequences of this kind of trauma. Vicarious trauma is, per the Headington Institute, "the negative changes that happen to humanitarian workers over time as they witness other people’s suffering and need." While there are a variety of benefits to providing therapy this can be one of the darker aspects of the work of helping others.

Sitting and listening to patients day in and day out, especially in the pressure cooker environment of a major military base, full of veterans from two wars, has to be overwhelming. Combine that with how under staffed and under budgeted the military is with regard to mental health services and the fact that most men are loathe to talk about their feelings due to the stigma--wow! I am feeling overwhelmed thinking about the challenges men and women in military mental health must face.

Just two weeks ago Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates said that many military personnel fear a stigma if they seek help for psychological injuries. He openly criticized a government and military bureaucracy that is “frustrating, adversarial and unnecessarily complex." When the top man is that candid about the problem, it must be quite profound.

There are a variety of ways that vicarious trauma can be avoided and I want to know if any of those systems were in place, and how efficiently they were implemented, at Fort Hood. According to an excellent article from The Journal of Counseling & Development (email me for a pdf if you are interested) by Trippany, White and Wilcoxon, there are a variety of way that trauma of this sort can be kept at a minimum. Among the recommendations are keeping caseloads at a manageable level and providing therapy for therapists via peer supervision.

As this conversation continues, it will be interesting to see how those systems worked, and to what degree they did not, at Fort Hood.

Headington Institute

Gates comments on stigma

On the Outside Looking In

(no win situations) = trouble

The Maine decision has come and gone and voters have decided that not everyone in their fair state is equal. As has happened thirty times before, a targeted minority, homosexuals men and women, has been denied their civil rights by a state's electorate.

My whole life people have told me how bad the gay lifestyle is. Growing up I had it explained to me that because homos won't not settle down and have kids, they can "never understand being an adult." Since gays won't act like adults, the logic went, they are doomed to a life of loneliness and misery.

Happily as I grew into adulthood a different scenario came onto the scene--the gay marriage movement. "Wow," I thought, "this will be an opportunity for gay people to be what most people said could not be--real adults, with responsibilities to a spouse, children and a mortgage."

How foolish I was. For the same people who complained about queers tricking all night and not settling down WOULD NOT ALLOW HOMOS THE SIMPLE ABILITY TO DO SO. The had created a room with no windows and no doors. Queers were damned for not being "adult" and damned for wanting to be one.

No win situations can create anger, depression anxiety and a variety of other emotions as well. I wonder what the end result of denying a minority of tax-paying adults the right to marry will create in the long run?

Children Aren't Stupid--Are They?

(families) + (anxiety) = anxious children

I am surprised/shocked/stunned on a regular basis by parents who don't think their children are not aware of problems in their family.

"Oh he's just a baby" or "She's only four, she can't know" are common statements from parents and completely wrong. Children do not lose IQ points after birth; to the contrary, their ability to understand the world grows each day. From their brith infants are sponges that absorb, and retain, the intellectual and emotional information that surrounds them. As they used to say in the early days of IBM, "bad data in equals bad data out." If your child absorbs "bad data" from unhappy parents and other care takers, the results will most likely be far from ideal.

Parenting is very hard and the human desire to rationalize is strong. That said, families have to be aware that stress in caretakers is transmitted to the infants, toddlers and children within the family.

Read here to see more on prenatal anxiety. And work on managing your stress and keeping great relations with your family...you, and your children, will benefit.

Lowering Your Anxiety Without Medication

 
(mind) + (body) = mody


We are all a product of our ancestors and since that is true, we inherited a variety of wonderful, and some less than wonderful traits that do not play so well in the 21^st century.  On of those is our response to stress. In ancient times, and in some cases today, our instinctual desire to fight or run away comes in handy (ever cross paths with a grizzly bear?). But most times these responses won’t work at the office or in an airplane on the tarmac. So understanding how you can naturally change the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream is an important tool in managing your anxiety. 

We breathe, on average, twelve to fourteen times per minute; a slight change in respiration, say two additional breaths per minute, can drastically change the oxygen content of your blood. And that increased oxygen send signals to your body that something is wrong. As a result a variety of symptoms may occur—faster heart beat, a feeling of being cool or hot, tingling feelings, Goosebumps or a feeling of dread.

To counteract these symptoms, we have to take control of something we normally do not—the rhythm of our breath. One method is placing a paper sack over one’s mouth. In doing so, we breathe in our own carbon dioxide and lessen the oxygen we take in.

However, the bag may not be handy or may be a tad obvious during a job interview or having dinner at the in-laws. And that is where square breathing comes in handy.

It is called square breathing because it is four sided and each side is the length of the other three.

1.   Breathe in to a count of four;

2.   Hold that breath for a four count;

3.   Exhale for the same count;

4.   Then hold off from breathing for one more count of four.

Do this over and over. It may be difficult at first but in a few moments you will begin to feel the benefit. The oxygen will level off and the symptoms, as well as the feelings will subside as a result. Over time, as you get more proficient, extend the count to six or seven, just as long as it feels comfortable for you.

Who would have thought being square would be so cool?