My Letter from President Obama

On 28 January 2009 I wrote a letter to the then-new President Barack Obama asking him why he was a bigot. 


Today I am happy to say that I finally got an answer. I received a mass e-mail from his political campaign that said the following:


David --

Today, I was asked a direct question and gave a direct answer:

I believe that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry...

I've always believed that gay and lesbian Americans should be treated fairly and equally. I was reluctant to use the term marriage because of the very powerful traditions it evokes. And I thought civil union laws that conferred legal rights upon gay and lesbian couples were a solution.


But over the course of several years I've talked to friends and family about this. I've thought about members of my staff in long-term, committed, same-sex relationships who are raising kids together. Through our efforts to end the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, I've gotten to know some of the gay and lesbian troops who are serving our country with honor and distinction.

What I've come to realize is that for loving, same-sex couples, the denial of marriage equality means that, in their eyes and the eyes of their children, they are still considered less than full citizens.

Even at my own dinner table, when I look at Sasha and Malia, who have friends whose parents are same-sex couples, I know it wouldn't dawn on them that their friends' parents should be treated differently.

So I decided it was time to affirm my personal belief that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry.


A little over three years later I got the answer to my letter that I frankly did not think I would ever receive. 


I have to say thank you President Obama for being courageous enough to stand up for all American citizens. Thank-you sir, thank-you. 

Reagan-Appointed Judge Defends Gay Marriage in California

A few moments ago Reagan appointee Vaughn Walker overturned California's gay marriage ban.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/ybenjamin/detail??blogid=150&entry_id=69382

You gotta love activist judges...

Make a Vow to Have a Good Time

attention + passion = lubrication


I just spoke to a man who came up to me and, after confirming that I am a relationship coach and therapist, asked me what sort of lube he could use on his wife who has, as he put it, "lubrication issues."

I asked when was the last time they had been on a date. He paused, looked at me and said, "years..." And then he started explaining to me all the reasons why they never go out and how they are both "busy." I wanted to ask him to stop as I had heard that song before.

Folks, romance has to be relationship-long. Dating doesn't stop when you say "baby let's move in" or even when you say "I do"--assuming you have been granted the legal ability to do so. Make time for each other, date, buy flowers, talk, enjoy each other--date after you make vows.

Some flowers, candles and a thoughtful exchange will solve a majority of the challenges currently being addressed by the KY line of products. Trust me...

On the Outside Looking In

(no win situations) = trouble

The Maine decision has come and gone and voters have decided that not everyone in their fair state is equal. As has happened thirty times before, a targeted minority, homosexuals men and women, has been denied their civil rights by a state's electorate.

My whole life people have told me how bad the gay lifestyle is. Growing up I had it explained to me that because homos won't not settle down and have kids, they can "never understand being an adult." Since gays won't act like adults, the logic went, they are doomed to a life of loneliness and misery.

Happily as I grew into adulthood a different scenario came onto the scene--the gay marriage movement. "Wow," I thought, "this will be an opportunity for gay people to be what most people said could not be--real adults, with responsibilities to a spouse, children and a mortgage."

How foolish I was. For the same people who complained about queers tricking all night and not settling down WOULD NOT ALLOW HOMOS THE SIMPLE ABILITY TO DO SO. The had created a room with no windows and no doors. Queers were damned for not being "adult" and damned for wanting to be one.

No win situations can create anger, depression anxiety and a variety of other emotions as well. I wonder what the end result of denying a minority of tax-paying adults the right to marry will create in the long run?

"We All Pay for Sex"

Woody Allen pithily made that remark years ago and the minute I heard it I knew it was true. We all pay for access to the mate we want, regardless of if that pay comes in roses (or "roses"), hours at the gym, an expensive haircut or a job that pays big bucks.

Based on a discovery earlier this week, it seems science has confirmed the fact that this has always been the case. Anthropologists have discovered a possible human ancestor that, if their hypothesis holds, is our oldest identified relative.

One of the things that sets this female, nick-named Ardi, from other homonids is the size of her canine teeth. They are small, like ours, which is quite different from our ape cousins who used big teeth for fighting. The theory is that smaller teeth indicates there was not a need to fight to get what they wanted. Through evolution they lost the large canines in favor of the ability to barter.

"So females are picking males that are using some other technique to obtain reproductive success, and that technique is probably exchanging food for copulation," Frank Lovejoy, one the leaders of the team who found her, said.

So the Woodman was right...and like any truth, it holds up 6 million years ago, as it does today.

(Woody Allen) + (Charles Darwin) x (Behavioral Psychology) + (Ardi) = we all pay for sex

My Letter to Obama: Why Sir Are You a Bigot?

I just skimmed our new president's revised positions for sexual minority clients. And after reading it, I have made a decision to write our president and ask him how he, a man of letters and a scholar of the law, can knowingly support the denial of marriage to same sex couples.

I know the negative consequences prejudice has on people, and I can't sit by without challenging his clearly prejudicial position with regard to Americans who are not heterosexual.

Here is my letter:

Dear President Obama,

First, congratulations on becoming the new president of the United States. I saw a photograph of you at your desk your first day at work, and even though you were making major decisions on a variety of issues, your desktop was totally clear. I hope that reflects the mind behind it, as we need someone with a clear vision in the office.

Which leads me to the reason I am writing this letter. I want to better understand your position on same-sex marriage. I have seen stories reporting your prejudicial view on same-sex marriage before, and your website confirms that such is the case;

President Obama supports full civil unions that give same-sex couples legal rights and privileges equal to those of married couples.

Why do those of us who were born sexually different deserve separate but equal treatment under the law? How can you, a man who has dealt with prejudice his entire life, support anything less that full rights for all adults who are citizens of the United States? Mr. Obama, why sir are you a bigot when it comes to sexuality?

I respectfully wait your reply and wish you the best in the days to come.

David Ezell

As soon as I get a reply, I will post it here...

Happy Wednesday one and all.