Bradley Manning's Gender Identity Struggle

This morning Bradley Manning's attorney read a statement on the Today show saying that his client, recently sentenced to 35 years for leaking material to Wikileaks, wants to start living his life as a woman.

As I heard the news I was floored and, I have to admit, a tad skeptical.  I am honored to work with the trans community (not to mention all sorts of others, hetero and gay as well) and am defensive of those who would ridicule these brave folk, so that is my knee jerk impulse--to question this announcement. I don't know Mr. Manning and can't vouch for his integrity but I can only hope this is not a plea for publicity. The struggles of the trans community are so varied, deep and enduring that they cannot afford an opportunist seeking attention.

Chelsea Manning

That said, does this young man need any more publicity? He is known around the world for his actions, with some wanting to award him the Nobel Peace Prize and others demanding his execution.

I then did some reading and found Manning has struggled with the issue of his gender for some time and that it was discussed in his trial. I was not aware of this because of the lack of coverage of his trial in the mainstream. But once I found out he has previously been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (GID)--literally having the brain of one sex in the body of another--I was relieved and felt tremendous sympathy for her. 

From here on I am going to refer to Mr. Manning as Ms. Manning, as I would with anyone else who told me they wanted to transition. Who am I to tell her, or anyone, who they really are?

As I tell my clients--from the heterosexual teenager with family issues to the housewife struggling with anxious thoughts to the woman in her eighties who wants a divorce after sixty years of marriage--you are an expert on yourself. I will never know who you are better than yourself.

The world is so hard for the most mainstream of people and it is even harder every step one takes away from the norm. So I wish Chelsea Manning well and hope she is afforded the medical and legal accommodations that allow her to be who she really is.

Men Happier Than Women? No Ship Sherlock

After watching this weekend's television I have decided that the world is a fairly safe place, at least for the moment. The reason being that CNN apparently has little to report, outside of a study saying the men are happier than women.

What makes this a surprise?

Women have less power in our society than men. Any time a group has less power they are less likely to be happy. Regardless of if the group is denied their rights by sex, gender, sexuality, economics or skin tone, the dominant segment is going to display a decided tendency to be more satisfied with their lives.

Yes, I recognize women have made strides in the social arena since the dark days pre-Betty Friedan. However, there is hardly equity between women and their far happier male counterparts. Anyone who doubts that fact needs to check out the makeup of the senate. Women are half the population--how many female senators are there? Or how about C.E.O.s--how many of them have duplicate chromosomes? Men still run the world...and smiles will fall on those in charge.

Also, consider the fact that women are far more in touch with their feelings than their male counterparts--which actually is another side effect of being second class. Those on the outside tend to show a much stronger ability to read the room and understand how the dominant group behaves and feels. Women think about feelings and attitudes as a function of survival. What would be the motivation for (most) men to be self-aware? When you run the show, you can stumble through life with little regard for others--making those in second place a lot less happy group. But if you have to respond to another group's demand, in this case those of men, the less powerful group is going to focus on what mood the men, as well as themselves, are in.

Smile and have a great Monday.

David Ezell is offering free introductory classes for people who want to transition their bodies or their ability to manage depression and anxiety holistically. Just click the link and register, as space is VERY LIMITED.

Take a RISK!

The other day a phrase came to me from Virgil, the Roman historian:

"Fortes fortuna adiuvat"

Translated, that means fortune favors the bold.

That phrase stands the test of time--be bold, what in the hell have you got to lose sitting on the sidelines?

I know a woman who has never asked a man out on a date because that is "not what ladies do." She always sits by the phone, thinking that by doing so she is not behaving like "a lady." And that scenario is making her miserable. Out of obligation to tradition, she is making herself miserable.

Since this is a family blog I won't say the one word that is 8-letters long, starts with a "b" and ends with "t." I have challenged her to stop doing the same behavior she is complaining about. If she meets a man she would like to go out with, forget The Rules and pick up the phone.

What would happen if she asked a man out?

1. She won't like him;
2. She will like him:
3. He will like her:
4. He won't like her;
5. They will both like each other;
6. They will both not like each other;
7. He won't show up...
8. Or something I can't predict will occur.

Regardless of any of those outcomes (and I am sure there are a few more I can't think of), she wins! She took a risk instead of wondering what would happen if she had asked him out.

Life is far too short to be in love with ambiguity.

Fortes fortuna adiuvat

In honor of five years of helping others help themselves, David Ezell is offering free workshops on relationships, weight loss and depression. Click on the links to register as seating is very limited.