(good news) + (bad news) = 360 View
Discounting the Positive is one of the most common problems humans face. In short, it is when a person fails to acknowledge successes and only looks at what she has not done.
For instance, I have a client (let's call her Mary) who, from all accounts would be considered a success. She is in a highly regarded field, one that many would love to be in. She works hard, gets raises, promotions, bonuses. On top of that Mary has an active dating life and many friends. And during the week she teaches an exercise class as she decided to become certified in her spare time. That is what I see.
What does Mary see? A failure. Because she has the desire to be a mother and she is not, she thinks she is a complete loser. All the accomplishments above don't matter to her--she only sees what she does not have.
Mary considers herself to be a realist and that is why she bashes herself over the head about motherhood. I see her as someone who is struggling with accepting reality. Reality is a mix of accomplishments, things tried and things left to do. Her reality is all about what she does not have.
So I am helping her to understand what discounting the positive does to her. And slowly, slowly she is beginning to see all 360 degrees as opposed to five or six.
Examine your life--what do you discount? Once you recognize what it is, ask yourself how that practice, the practice of ignoring the good aspects of your life keep you from changing what you want to change.
Want to ask David a question about Discounting the Positive?
No comments:
Post a Comment