Everyone has a timetable — so consider theirs as well as yours, especially if they are in control of what you want.
I can’t help it. I am trained to analyze behavior and I do it in all parts of my life. I’d be a fool not to, because I know that behavior, combined with what a person says, are all I have to go by when interacting with them.
In addition to being a life coach and CBT therapist, I am also the CEO of Darien Wellness, a group of mental health experts in Darien, CT. I have learned over the years to be very careful about who I partner with, as they are a reflection of the brand we have built in our region.
Yesterday I logged in to look at our current pool of applicants and found a man I will call “George.” He had a stellar resume and offered some skills that I think would really be a value-add for our group. At 1:26 PM I wrote him a note telling him I was impressed with his resume and asking if he had 20 minutes to discuss the possibility of joining our group. I told him I knew it was last-minute, so I also offered the following day as an option as well.
About ninety minutes later he replied and was perfectly cordial. He followed the directions of my request and did so in a professional fashion (greeting, closing, no misspelled words — all good signs).
Because I practice what I preach, he immediately got this auto-reply from me:
I appreciate you writing.
Because of my commitments with staff and clients I usually check this email once daily on workdays (Monday to Friday, save for vacation days and personal off days).
If this is a more pressing matter, call the office line at 203–883–0464 and leave a message.
PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL ABOUT A CLIENT CRISIS OR AN EMERGENCY. If this is a medical emergency, do not notify us via email. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
You see, I teach my clients that living by email is a way to look very busy and get very little done. I have a full agenda from the moment I rise to the moment I lay back down, and behaving like Pavlov’s pup every time I hear an email bell “ding!” means getting very little done.
That said, I was fully aware I had written to him and another potential applicant about speaking. Keeping that in mind, I looked at my email at 6 am this morning to schedule anyone who may have replied.
I was surprised to see that George had written me the first time, and then again, exactly twelve hours later (!?) at 1:26 AM. Keep in mind he had already been notified that I only check email once a day. But he wanted me, the person who is extending a potential offer to him, to conform to the typical practice of checking email all day and night (some studies show up to 150 times a day). And because I did not do so, he was mad and told me so.
I’m not going to repeat the content of the email — it’s not explicit, it’s just negative and dismissive because I did not reply on his schedule. Needless to say, I will not be speaking with him today, tomorrow, or any day, about working with us. If he acts like this about scheduling a call, how healthy can be? What he be like in a crisis?
Folks, smart employers and business folk look at details. When you are looking at partnering with someone, keep in mind that your idea of the time for an appropriate response may not be the same as theirs. We all have ideas of what’s right in varying circumstances, so think carefully before you hit that “send” button. Write out what you are feeling — your frustration or anger — in Word or Pages and then sleep on it. I am willing to bet you may want to edit it, or throw it away, when you wake up the next morning.
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