Thinking of Dr. Joyce Brothers

When I heard Dr. Joyce Brothers had passed away this morning I found myself to be profoundly sad. She has always been one of the constants in my life, someone who had been famous long before I was born and a constant face on the game shows and sitcoms that I grew up watching. She was friendly and pretty and funny, but also profoundly smart. She, along with Bob Newhart's fictional group therapist Bob Hartley, showed me that helping people could be a valid career choice. 

Now that I'm grown (and a psychotherapist), I appreciate her for a completely different reason. She made therapy more accessible to the masses by putting a friendly face on our craft. Dr. Brothers, a fellow alum of Columbia University I'm proud to say, was an early proponent of overturning the belief that that therapy and therapists had to be mysterious and puritanical in its practice. Instead of being a silent and judgmental, Dr. Brothers was accessible and real--even funny--something I thank her for every day. 

Rest in peace Dr. Joyce.

Billie Holiday Died Fifty Years Ago Today

I have been meeting with clients, trying to finish my workout and writing a blog in reaction to President Obama's speech to the NAACP but just realized that today is the fiftieth anniversary of the death of Billie Holiday. I am putting it all on hold to take note of this important day.



How does this fit into my mission of explaining side effects? Simple. Holiday's artistry continues to have a side effect on so many people who feel misunderstood or in pain. She was a one-of-a-kind artist and even though her personal life was a disaster, she consistently created art that stands the test of time and speaks to those who feel outside or misunderstood.



In addition, someone of her stature has an enduring side effect on the creation of so many others. Her appeal is so broad--she was recently ranked number six in VH1's list of the Greatest Women in Rock and Roll and is in the Rock and Roll hall of fame. I think an interesting experiment would be to name five of your favorite singers and pair their name in a Google search with "Billie Holiday." Chances are you will find a reference to her as an influence. She spoke, and speaks to anyone who has struggled with creation.

R.I.P. dear Billie from a fan you never knew.

Our Michael Jackson Problem

Michael Jackson has passed as humans do. When I first heard it, from a client last Thursday evening, I had the feeling I always have when someone who was a marker in my life slips away. I felt sad thinking about hearing his songs and what they represented in my life—where I was, who I was with, perhaps even what I was thinking or feeling while one of his tunes played in the background.

I, and most other people, clearly have conflicted feelings about Mr. Jackson. He was African-American but distanced himself far from his people. He made enormous sums of money but was so in debt that he lost his home. Millions loved him but he appeared to be, for most of his life, isolated. He clearly struggled with his identity, converting himself physically and changing not only how he talked but his voice as well. And of course there were the allegations of sex with minors and his admission that sleeping with children was an expression of love. That said, he was an enormous talent. He was incredibly gifted, a one of a kind performer who brought so much joy to so many as long as his music was playing.

Many mourn around the world today and speak in platitudes about his being “the king of pop,” a title he was never granted in his lifetime. The Russians have built a monument to him. The Rev. Al Sharpton demanded a national day of mourning in his honor and tickets to today’s service were being scalped for $1,500 a piece. All for a man who had become, at least in this country, fodder for stand up comedians and a synonym for eccentricity or perversion.

Seeing this behavior makes me very sad. Not because he did not deserve praise but sad because it’s all too late. Many of the people who praise him now were, in a majority of cases, those that mocked him less than ten days ago. What is it in humans that allow this sort duality of thinking? Alive he was a despot and dead he has been granted the title he craved but was not given.

I wish we all could treat each other better.

© David Ezell 2009
All Rights Reserved

Ed McMahon, RIP

Ed McMahon, the long-time co-host of Johnny Carson's Tonight Show, has just passed away. For generations Mr. McMahon made many smile with his winning personality and his infectious laugh in a time when television was the dominant social media. As he once told the New York Times, “I laugh for an hour and then go home, I’ve got the world’s greatest job.”

Rest in peace Mr. McMahon.

Time passes. Make the most of yours.



© David Ezell 2009
All Rights Reserved

Eartha Kitt RIP

I just got an e-mail from a friend that I did not want to see...Eartha Kitt has passed.

I am not, for the most part, a participant in our celebrity culture. That said, I loved Eartha Kitt, as much as one can love someone they have only seen from afar. She was the personification of energy and life. What a loss for us all.

I am proud to say I saw her at the famous Blue Note a few years ago and it was well worth the price. She brought so much joy into the room that night. I loved it and have often told stories about her performance--especially when she called a sweet looking waiter over and asked, "how old are you?"

He replied, "21."

She murmurred, "is anyone 21 anymore?" It was a set up, but I loved it.

One thing more I remember that night. How gracious she was afterwards, signing autographs and talking...my friend and I saw her outside the club long after it had closed and gone dark, still signing and smiling a laughing.

She was a one of a kind. Rest in peace dear Eartha.

Times passes. Make the most of yours.