Thinking of Dr. Joyce Brothers

When I heard Dr. Joyce Brothers had passed away this morning I found myself to be profoundly sad. She has always been one of the constants in my life, someone who had been famous long before I was born and a constant face on the game shows and sitcoms that I grew up watching. She was friendly and pretty and funny, but also profoundly smart. She, along with Bob Newhart's fictional group therapist Bob Hartley, showed me that helping people could be a valid career choice. 

Now that I'm grown (and a psychotherapist), I appreciate her for a completely different reason. She made therapy more accessible to the masses by putting a friendly face on our craft. Dr. Brothers, a fellow alum of Columbia University I'm proud to say, was an early proponent of overturning the belief that that therapy and therapists had to be mysterious and puritanical in its practice. Instead of being a silent and judgmental, Dr. Brothers was accessible and real--even funny--something I thank her for every day. 

Rest in peace Dr. Joyce.

When Should We Be Alarmed?

(problems) - (PANIC!) = solutions

When should we be alarmed? Never. Panicking never makes things better, only worse.

Recently on one of my professional discussion groups a woman asked:

"Why is the number of chilren [sp] diagnosed with Autism increasing? Are we becoming alarmed?"

I think her question was sincere but is flavored by the sort of sensationalism that  decades of local TV news has created in our culture. I love people who ask questions and certainly ask my fair share. That said, effective questions are ones that lead to clarity, not create chaos.

That said, this is the response I wrote to the woman on my board:

Becoming alarmed about autism does nothing. I think many people who are uninformed are becoming alarmed. But should we? I think not. Becoming alarmed does nothing but make a problem bigger.

What is the reason for increase in the diagnosis of autism? Unsure....and this is not my areas of expertise so I am hesitant to add much to this discourse. However, I think if you look at other conditions that are hard to diagnose--ADHD comes to mind but I am sure there are others--there is a rise in its diagnosis as well. I think as we refine our knowledge we have a higher degree of understanding about such conditions. So that is certainly one factor.

One thing I do know....there is no one cause. Mono-causality is a common mistake and an oversimplification of any problem or an attempt to find a solution. There are a variety of reasons and each needs to be examined calmly and in a consistent fashion.

Beware dear readers of anyone who uses fear or panic to sell their agenda, or products, or services. The only reason for panic that I can see is an increasing number of people are finding that creating fear and hysteria are a legitimate way to make a buck.

Oprah's Ethics with Regard to the "Monkey Woman"

Please forgive me if this post seems a little rushed, but I am posting it quickly before I see my evening clients. I even considered NOT discussing it at all as talking about it makes it bigger...but nonetheless.

I was at the gym and on the big screens, as well as many of the little ones that dot the facility, Oprah was playing as she does in most markets at 4 PM. I was running and reading (multi-tasker that I am) and looked up to see Oprah talking to a woman with a veil over her face. I tuned my machine's unit in and put in my earbuds. It was the lady who had tragically had her face torn off by a pet monkey earlier this year.

Oprah was respectful and patient in her questioning and responses as she usually is. However, a little past the thirty minute mark she asked the lady if she would let Oprah TAKE OFF THE VEIL! I was stunned and turned of my unit as I did not want to see it. However, the big screen played on and the rest of the interview was conducted without the netting she had on earlier.

Wow, I am really uncomfortable with this not so much as a clinican but as a human being. What I want to know, and perhaps that information is out there, is did the lady tell Oprah she wanted to show her face or did the grand lady of TV ask her? If it was the second, I find that to be an egregious abuse of her power and influence. Any ideas on which version is what occurred?

And then, to top it off, the minute the show ended the local affiliate led the news with the image of the woman's face. All the news in the country and this is a lead story? One more strike, as if they needed one, against them. I find most media to be repulsive opportunists...and this is more evidence to support my argument against them.

The United States of Tara

I just saw an online preview of the latest series from Showtime, The United States of Tara.

In Tara, Broadway baby Toni Collette is great, as always in this ground-breaking series from Showtime. In the attempt to continue to out ground break themselves and HBO, the Showtime folk have decided to explore the life of a family seriously effected by one of the most devastating and controversial diagnoses, Dissociative Personality Disorder.

I must admit, I went into this thinking that I would HATE it. Why? Well, the ad campaign makes it look like a WaCkY comedy about mental illness. And that is decidedly offensive, as this extremely debilitating illness holds it’s victims captive, many for their entire lives. While it is not really a comedy, at least in the TV sense of the word, it is not a drama either. I think their fear of crossing the line between daring and tasteless is forcing them to be neither. In an attempt to be ground breaking they may wind up simply being offensive or, even worse, boring.

John Corbett, from Northern Exposure and Sex and the City (Carrie, why did you ditch this dreamboat for Big?) is delicious as always playing the impossibly supportive husband to a woman who suffers at the hands of this very serious condition. Which I guess leads me to my other problem with Tara. What is the motivation of Tara’s husband to stay with someone who, so many years after post-diagnosis, is still so unstable.

Love? Yes, I understand how love works, but this relationship looks more unhealthy than healthy. Why would a competent, handsome, successful man stick with this situation day after day and year after year? The producers of this show are clearly gifted. But are they gifted enough to explain his motivation? Let's see...