Make a Vow to Have a Good Time

attention + passion = lubrication


I just spoke to a man who came up to me and, after confirming that I am a relationship coach and therapist, asked me what sort of lube he could use on his wife who has, as he put it, "lubrication issues."

I asked when was the last time they had been on a date. He paused, looked at me and said, "years..." And then he started explaining to me all the reasons why they never go out and how they are both "busy." I wanted to ask him to stop as I had heard that song before.

Folks, romance has to be relationship-long. Dating doesn't stop when you say "baby let's move in" or even when you say "I do"--assuming you have been granted the legal ability to do so. Make time for each other, date, buy flowers, talk, enjoy each other--date after you make vows.

Some flowers, candles and a thoughtful exchange will solve a majority of the challenges currently being addressed by the KY line of products. Trust me...

The United States of Tara

I just saw an online preview of the latest series from Showtime, The United States of Tara.

In Tara, Broadway baby Toni Collette is great, as always in this ground-breaking series from Showtime. In the attempt to continue to out ground break themselves and HBO, the Showtime folk have decided to explore the life of a family seriously effected by one of the most devastating and controversial diagnoses, Dissociative Personality Disorder.

I must admit, I went into this thinking that I would HATE it. Why? Well, the ad campaign makes it look like a WaCkY comedy about mental illness. And that is decidedly offensive, as this extremely debilitating illness holds it’s victims captive, many for their entire lives. While it is not really a comedy, at least in the TV sense of the word, it is not a drama either. I think their fear of crossing the line between daring and tasteless is forcing them to be neither. In an attempt to be ground breaking they may wind up simply being offensive or, even worse, boring.

John Corbett, from Northern Exposure and Sex and the City (Carrie, why did you ditch this dreamboat for Big?) is delicious as always playing the impossibly supportive husband to a woman who suffers at the hands of this very serious condition. Which I guess leads me to my other problem with Tara. What is the motivation of Tara’s husband to stay with someone who, so many years after post-diagnosis, is still so unstable.

Love? Yes, I understand how love works, but this relationship looks more unhealthy than healthy. Why would a competent, handsome, successful man stick with this situation day after day and year after year? The producers of this show are clearly gifted. But are they gifted enough to explain his motivation? Let's see...